Is My Marriage Over?
There’s nothing harder than the end of a long term relationship. You’ve invested years that allowed you to let your guard down, establish trust, and make someone the focal point of your life. It is only natural to struggle when one or both spouses feel that they’ve reached the breaking point.
When it comes to deciding whether your marriage has run its course, ultimately no one can make that decision for you and your spouse. However, if the bad times have reached decisive moment, there are a few things you should do before taking the next step into divorce proceedings.
Take a Step Back
It’s definitely not beneficial to jump right into separation as the only possible solution after every little argument. It’s natural for couples to fight and for passion to wax and wane. However, there can be some major signs and indicators that a relationship is deteriorating. Before you make any hasty decisions, it’s important to step back and take a look at the big picture. Ask yourself some of these questions:
- Does every trivial situation seem to devolve into a fight?
- Do you and/or your spouse continually bring up past hurts?
- Is there no longer a mutual respect in your relationship?
- Has your spouse and you not share the same moral, ethical, and lifestyle values anymore?
Even if the answer to all of these questions is yes, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is over. It does mean that you might need some help rebuilding the relationship. Try these steps before considering separation and divorce:
Talk to a Therapist
Talking to a therapist on an individual basis can help you find stability and security in your own mental and emotional space. Regardless of the outcome for your relationship, finding a therapist that you feel comfortable talking to can be a huge benefit to yourself and your well-being.
When it comes to the relationship, chances are probably good that you’re not the only one feeling tense and exhausted from fighting all the time. If you can, consider having a conversation with your spouse about seeking professional help as a couple. Working with a family or marriage counselor can help give you both a different perspective on the challenges you’re facing and the tools on how to cope with the issues. It’s not a silver bullet and it won’t be very effective if both of you aren’t putting in equal effort. However, counseling can be very effective at reopening healthy channels for communication to start repairing and rebuilding your relationship.
Unfortunately, there are no guarantees with marriage counseling and sometimes the damage to the relationship is too great. If that is the case, it may be time to talk to a professional about your legal options.
Consult a Divorce Attorney
Even if you’re not 100% sure you’re ready to pursue a legal separation or divorce, it can still be to your benefit to meet with a divorce attorney and discuss your options. A consultation can help shed some light on everything that goes into a divorce. Our free consult can help navigate those critical first steps the correct way. Avoiding missteps early on the divorce process can save your time, money, stress, and heartaches.
